


in which modern-day kitchen appliances are scary

by kodakclick



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 03:23:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3234455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kodakclick/pseuds/kodakclick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>tumblr post: imagine the most serious character you know<br/>now imagine them getting scared by the toaster going off as they walk by</p>
            </blockquote>





	in which modern-day kitchen appliances are scary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [verbanski](https://archiveofourown.org/users/verbanski/gifts).



> I have managed to stay out of the fanfic game as an author for 6 years... and then these assholes come along and literally take over my brain. So dumb shit like this happens.
> 
> Shout out to Claudine (verbanski). Just because.

It was one of those gloriously lazy Saturdays.  No one had to work.  No one had any plans.  No one had obligations.  It was their favourite kind of Saturday.

 

Two of the three tenants were awake.  Both Danny and Laura were on the couch, legs intertwined as they relaxed opposite to each other.  Laura was quietly reading - a fantasy novel that had absolutely nothing to do with vampires.  She lived with one; it kind of killed all of those stories for her.  Not often did she get to simply enjoy literature... Her journalism job kept her researching, which was always interesting! … but it was also exhausting.  Danny on the other hand was working through a crossword puzzle, one that was giving her a bit of trouble if her furrowed brows were any indication.

 

Laura lightly nudged Danny’s leg with her foot, causing the redhead to snap her head up.  “Wha?”  She adjusted her glasses back up her nose, regarding Laura with confusion.

 

“Nothing… I can just hear the gears turning in your brain from here.  I think there’s some steam coming from your ears?”  Laura teased affectionately.  Danny stuck out her tongue in response before going back to figure it out.

 

A few minutes of comfortable silence later, Danny gave out a small huff of frustration.  Setting her puzzle and pen down, she sat up, grabbing Laura’s attention in the process.  “You hungry?”

 

“Yeah, I could eat.  Breakfast for dinner?”

 

Danny chuckled, shaking her head with an affirming smirk.  Such a child.  She stood up from the couch, stretching before starting towards the kitchen.  She paused on the way, shouting up the stairs, “Carm, get up!”

 

The floor upstairs started to creak in response.  Satisfied, Danny began working in the kitchen. Some minutes later, a sleepy vampire shuffled down the stairs, yawning as she made her way to the couch.  Bending down to level her face with Laura’s, she moved the book out of the way so she could give her a kiss.  Carmilla smiled softly as Laura giggled into it before pulling away.  “Well, good morning to you too sleepy head.”  She leaned in for another peck to which Carmilla met eagerly.

 

“Hey!  Where’s mine?  I’m doing all the work!” Danny shouted petulantly from her spot at the stove, finishing up the eggs.

 

Carmilla straightened up again, both her and Laura laughing a little.  “Someone’s a little jealous today,” she purred, sleep still thickly coating her voice.  Carmilla shuffled her way into the kitchen.

 

In the midst of her journey, she passed by the island just as the toaster popped, enthusiastically revealing the finished toast.  A yelp instantly turned into a mewling growl – a horrific cross in between fright and disgust. And the next thing Carmilla knew, she was 8 feet in the air and everything was upside down.  Both Danny and Laura started at the sound, whipping their heads to the source.  Danny found her first and immediately doubled over in tears, laughing.  And Laura followed suit as soon as she saw why.

 

Carmilla had transformed in the middle of her startled jump, her fright forcing her high enough for her to instinctively grab the ceiling with her claws.  And there she hung, hissing vehemently at the toaster.

 

There was a fucking panther hanging from their ceiling.

 

Carmilla’s back arched and the ceiling could no longer handle the strain.  The only warning anyone had was the groaning of the dry wall before it gave way under the weight of a _panther_ hanging on by her claws.  Within seconds, Carmilla crashed back onto the floor, bits of debris coming with her.  That knocked the other two into action, eyes wide with worry.

 

“Carm!  You ok? CARM!”

 

The debris shifted slightly, denoting the change back to her human form.  Danny reached her first, pushing the ceiling pieces off her.  “Carmilla!”   The vampire simply groaned in response, muttering something undoubtedly sulky and unintelligible.  She rolled over, hiding her face from Danny and the now approaching Laura in embarrassment.

 

“Carm are you ok?!”

 

“Mphff.”

 

“What?”  Danny knelt down to the floor, grabbing her shoulder to turn her over and check for injuries, but her arm was met with a swat from the girl on the floor.

 

“I’m fine!”  The words pierced through the small cloud of dust, a little higher than normal for the vampire.  Laura released a breath, relief washing away her worry as she joined them both on the floor to confirm Carmilla’s well being.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Carmilla’s only answer was a little wave of her hand.  She’d really love if she could just sink into the floor and pretend like a _toaster_ of all things didn't surprise her so badly that she actually fucking transformed and _stuck to the fucking ceiling_.  There goes the remnants of her badass reputation.  Maybe if she just lay here, they’d leave her alone.

 

Ha. Fat chance.  This was Laura and Danny.  What was she thinking?

 

As if on cue, Carmilla felt a poke at her side.  “Carm.”

 

She blindly attempted to bat the offending finger away.

 

Another poke.

 

“What!?” Annoyance, exasperation, and maaaaybe a little of desperation and hope that they would just let her be were evident in her tone.

 

“You do realize modern-day kitchen appliances are harmless, right?”

 

“I swear to God, Danny if you don’t sto-“

 

“You turned into a panther, Carm.  Because of a toaster.”  Carmilla didn’t have to look up to know that Danny was wearing the best shit-eating grin she could muster.  Laura couldn’t quite contain her snickering.  With a huff, the vampire grabbed a piece of the ceiling and tossed it somewhere in Laura’s direction as a distraction for her escape back to their bedroom.  “Hey!”

 

Danny anticipated this, hopping up and effectively blocking the escape route with her body.  “Ohhh no you don’t.  Besides, now that I know you’re afraid of toasters, I can’t have you running around the house by yourself.  What will you do if you encounter the vacuum?!”  Carmilla swore her tall redhead was going to split her own face with that grin.

 

A sour look dampening her features, Carmilla huffed and turned away from the pair of them.  “Ha ha. Laugh it up.  Big, bad vampire nearly raises roof over a toaster.  Headline of the day, right off the press.”

 

Laura attempted her best to conceal her smirk, but sidled up to her to press a kiss to Carmilla’s cheek, Danny mirroring her.  “We’re just teasing…” Laura trailed off, noticing the drywall littering the ground again.  “We should probably clean this up and call someone to repair our ceiling though.”

 

“Food first.  I didn't do all this work for nothing and I’ll be damned if I let a scaredy cat make it go to waste because she can’t handle a toaster.”

* * *

 

She hears a crash, a violent curse, and howling laughter from her desk upstairs.

 

“DANNY I SWEAR I AM GONNA KILL YOU WITH MY BARE CLAWS!”

 

“Can’t do that if they’re stuck to the ceiling, _sweetheart._ ”

 

More cackling and a growl precede the sound of the door slamming shut.

 

Laura calls the repairman a second time in as many weeks.


End file.
